How Did King David Deal with a Scandal?

KING DAVID

The Lord considered what David had done to be evil (2 Samuel 11:27).

King David is well known for being a young man who killed an enemy warrior so bad no one wanted to deal with him.  He eventually grew through the ranks of Israel until he was king.  As a king he led his army into one battle after another, conquering and taking territory for his country.  

During a period of his life and during a season when kings went out and battled David stayed home in his castle.  While looking over his balcony one evening he happened to see a woman bathing on her roof top.  David may have been looking a few times before and couldn’t hold back from the temptation, but it is not clear whether or not he was expecting to see her bathing.  What is clear is that he sent for her,  got her pregnant and to cover up his affair, he made sure her husband died in battle; but in having her husband die in battle, several other good fighters were killed in the process.  

Like most people who do terrible things, David must surely have had plenty of excuses to fall back on.  I would think that he used all of the following:
1. I am protecting a woman from capital punishment.
2. I am helping to keep a marriage from going bad.  
3. I am protecting a child from being considered a bastard.
4. I am protecting my testimony as a leader. 

These are common today and I assume they were common back in David's day.

To cover up his affair, David had a General let the husband die in battle; and to kill this husband, the General allowed several others to die.  David was a mass murderer, but his affair was kept secret, or at least he thought it was. The truth is, his affair was well known - the social media of his day (gossip) had already spread throughout the land. 

David was the most powerful man in area, and as a result he was above the Law, but he was not above God's judgment.  When Nathan the Prophet told King a parable of a rich man who brutally took another man's only sheep, David was so enraged that he demanded the rich man be put to death.  When Nathan told the king it was him, David's secret was revealed and David was told this:
Why did you despise the word of the LORD by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites,,, you have despised me (2 Samuel 12:9-10).

Nathan was repulsed by David's actions and God was disgusted with David's acts of murder and adultery.  When I see modern preachers busted for some sin, saying, "Jesus forgives me and that's all that is necessary" so quickly, I find many are offended because it so quickly dismisses the gravity of the situation.  I feel like these people believe that God is up there in heaven, disappointed like a parent whose child stole a cookie, but quick to lovingly re embrace and to forgive.  King David sought God with his whole heart and yet he dared not take his sin so lightly.  His sin was terrible and he knew it.

When I hear preachers today say so quickly that God has forgiven, I am reminded of Psalm 51 where David, who loved God and was used by him in so many ways, pleaded with God for mercy and begged God not to take God's Spirit from him.  I see in Psalm 51 a man who is vulnerable and humble.

For thou didst it secretly: but I will do this thing before all Israel, and before the sun. 2 Samuel 12:12

I Want to Be Famous!

 No one else dared join them, even though they were highly regarded by the people.

Acts 5:10

I overheard that not too long ago, Christian Sam Rader from The Sam and Nia YouTube series told people he wanted to be famous and he let people know he was going to be famous.  In the end, he became far more famous than he expected for allegedly faking a discovery of his wife's pregnancy, for getting kicked out of a vlogger's convention, and then for several payments he made to a website designed to help him find discreet adulterous affairs.  These events happened days apart from each other.  It was almost like God was allowing their lives to fall apart overnight.

A few years back, Richard and Mayumi Heene sought fame by staging a false report that their child was trapped in a large balloon somewhere over Colorado.  While the authorities were looking for the balloon, Richard had his kid hide in the garage.  Their plan to become famous and get into the news worked very well; except the kind of fame they were looking for was not the kind they got.  The Heenes will forever be known as bad people.

These are cases of people who wanted the good side of fame - the attention and the money - but got the nasty side of fame instead - the ridicule and hatred of the media and of the very people they wanted to win over for good.

Fame is a tricky beast to tame and for those who seek fame simply to be famous, there can be unseen consequences that can turn one's life into a place of hell.

I believe most of us want fame.  When I was younger, I wanted it badly.  I wanted to be recognized as someone special and to be looked up to.  Before I was Christian I was convinced I was going to be a rock star.  Shortly after I became a Christian I expected to become a famous Christian speaker, Christian musician, and prophet.  Fortunately I quickly outgrew the fantasies, but only life and experience helped me shake off the hunger to be well known.

When fame is the value most sought out, things can easily go wrong.  People do weird things to become famous or to hold on to fame, and those weird things can get them into a whole lot of trouble.

In Acts 4, Barnabas sold property and gave the money to the disciples for distribution to those who were in need.  As a result Barnabas immediately fit in with the top ranks of the new Christian community.  He became an instant Christian celebrity.  Seeing this, a man and his wife (Ananias and Sapphira) decided to do the same by selling a piece of their property and giving 1/2 the money to the disciples and secretly keep the rest for themselves.

When they gave the money to Peter and the disciples their plan backfired and God killed them as an example to the new community of believers.  This sounds terrible for us 21st Century Christians, but that is how things worked in the ancient times.

Ananias and Sapphira were looking for fame among a small community of Christians.  They wanted to hobnob with the Apostles who seemed to be bigger than life celebrities.  But their attempts were thwarted by destruction because they were only looking for fame and because they wanted fame so much, they resorted to dishonest methods to get to that fame.

How do we know they were looking for fame?  At the conclusion of their episode, the Bible says that no one else dared to join them, that is the disciples.  The people didn't dare attempt to join them because they got the message loud and clear from Ananias and Sapphira that the celebrity world of Christianity was off limits to anyone else.

Barnabas became a celebrity in the book of Acts and in his day not because he sought to become famous neither did he intend to join the circles of the disciples.  He became a celebrity as a result of what he did for a good cause without looking to become famous.

Ananias and Sapphira sought to join the disciple and take on the Christian celebrity aura by poorly copying what Barnabas did.

LESSON FOR TODAY

Most of us want to be famous.  However, to help avoid the nasty side of fame, be good at what you do and pursue to be good not for fame, but for the enjoyment of what you do. Work hard at it and stay honest, stay ethical, and make sure past mistakes are dealt with and cleaned up.  At the very least, be up front and honest about your past mistakes.  The celebrity life is filled with exposes.

Finally, realize that fame comes from skill, a lot of work, and most of all, a lot of luck.

I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.            

—Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)

How Famous Christians React after a Scandal

 

CONFESSION

 I have been the biggest hypocrite ever.  While espousing faith and family values, I have been unfaithful to my wife.  I am so ashamed of the double life that I have been living...."

Josh Duggar 

The fact is I am guilty of sexual immorality. "I am a deceiver and a liar. There is a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I have been warring about it for my entire life. ..."

Ted Haggard 

Josh Duggar, Jimmy Swaggart, and Ted Haggard, like many cheaters who get caught openly, confess their misdoings and the revulsion with what they have done.  I assume they are used to confessing to God in their private lives, but they are not used to confessing to the nation.  But confession before the world has a negative side to it as most fallen heroes discover.

THE IMAGE OF CONFESSION

 

"I Was Wrong"

Jim Baker

Jim Bakker and his caked on make-up wife became popular among Christian TV watchers back in the 1980s on a show (the PTL Club) that discussed all kinds of events and opinions.  They became so wealthy that they began their own Christian themed park (Heritage USA) and that's what became their undoing.  Overselling rooms for their park put the Bakkers on the defensive and sent Jim to jail.  During this time it was also discovered that Jim was paying off a secretary who accused him and his friend of raping her.  His wife Tammy divorced him.

Spending 5 years in jail, Jim Bakker saw the error of his ways and later wrote a book claiming that the excessive lifestyle he lived was wrong.

 

"I have sinned!"  

(Jimmy Swaggart)

When publicly confessing misdoings, some people, like Jimmy Swaggart, give the press an image that will show up for the life of the internet. 

Old School Pentecostal Jimmy Swaggart (cousin and child buddies with Jerry Lee Lewis) was the world's most popular TV preacher in the 1980s.  He was a gifted speaker who railed against the world, Rock and Roll, and pornography local  Jimmy also viciously exposed another local preacher for committing adultery.  In the height of his career, that other preacher took pictures of Jimmy Swaggart visiting a prostitute.  After being exposed, he wept before his church and confessed his sins.

Weeping was a part of Jimmy Swaggart's preaching style.  He turned it on when needed as to emphasize certain points of his messages.  He learned from his preaching that public weeping produced positive reaction and empathy from his audiences.  For Jimmy Swaggart tears were a form of steering his followers.  Tears awakened the emotions of his audiences to the importance of what he was saying.  Jimmy learned to control audiences with his weeping, his mood swings, and his pacing on stage.  He was a master orator.

Unfortunately for Jimmy, his ability to control an audience was limited to his followers.  When he was faced with an audience outside of his faithful, his tears became an image of disgust and mockery.  Jimmy poured out the tears, just like he did in dozens of sermons, but his tears became a mockery and a picture of disgust to people who now saw his hypocrisy.

Jimmy Swaggart learned the hard way that openly admitting to guilt may add to the relentless news agencies and negative feedback of fellow Christians.  He could no longer control his audiences and he found that the media now owned him in ways he could not handle.

Several months later being pulled over by a police man for erratic driving, Jimmy was caught with porn magazines and another prostitute in his car.  When he was caught this time and asked by the media about the incident, his response was clear, "It is none of your business."  He learned that confession and tears didn't work with the world at large.

ON THE DEFENSIVE - STAGE 2 OF A CONFESSION

I knew a man who molested children. When members of his family and his church board found out about this, they got together and surprised him with the news that his secret was exposed.  Like Swaggart, he confessed as a broken man.  Several years later, when he was again exposed, he hardened up and the people harmed were met with nothing but a denial and a lawyer.

Like Swaggart, this man learned that the repercussions of public confession can be brutal, so with this experience in mind, the church member (like Swaggart) gave the people concerned the feeling one gets when someone gives you the finger.

Sam Rader is a video blogger who has gained a decent following online by filming a reality show surrounding his wonderful and outrageously cute family.  When the Ashley Madison website was hacked (this was a website designed to help married men and women find discreet adulterous affairs), it was discovered that Sam Rader had paid to find women he could meet on the side.

Upon being found out, Sam Rader confessed in a video blog, but then turned to the "It's none of your business" right away.  He did not wait for media feedback to begin setting up his internal defenses.  In one message he went from "I sinned, but I didn't really meet with anyone, Jesus forgives me, my wife is okay, and that's all I am going to say about it."  He really didn't give the media much to gloat over for very long, so the media moved on.  Besides, there were much bigger people with much bigger scandals out there than Sam.

On the surface, this seems to be an effective way to deal with the media.  Confess and move on.  Don't be too broken, but don't be arrogant either.

Personally, I was turned off by part of his message with the flippant attitude that came across when Sam said something like "Jesus forgives me, and that's it."  For those of you who face a public scandal in the future, it might be better to say something like, "I have prayed for forgiveness and am working on my relationship with God and with my wife who is facing a difficult time because of my actions."  The proclamation that "God has forgiven me," sounds like God is a vending machine giving out forgiveness every time I put in my quarter.  Grace and mercy are not cheap expectations we can take for granted.

THE IMPORTANCE OF THE RIGHT WORDS IN CONFESSION

"I did not have sex with that woman."

(President Clinton)

America was disgusted with Clinton's denial because his careful wording was an attempt to lesson the gravity of what he did and his attempt to lesson the gravity was obvious to all.  In Rader's online confession, he carefully worded that he had not had outside affairs while he was married which tells me he may have cheated on his wife before he was married.  I cannot assume that to be absolutely true, but his wording suggests the possibility.

Sam also stated that his Ashley Madison account was created before he started video blogging; but some on the internet say that is not true.  Furthermore, as was mentioned above, Sam told his viewers that he never really met with anyone he talked to on the internet.  A confession like his is loaded with questionable statements and possible cover ups - all designed to protect his image, his following and his marriage.

I don't know if Rader ever really visited any of his online girl friends in person, but Ashley Madison is designed for that purpose and Rader paid a lot of money to find fellow cheaters.  In the end, even though only he knows, his reactions are highly suspicious to the media and to many who listen to the media.

CONFESSION OF HYPOCRISY

So you must be careful to do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach.  

(Matthew 23:3)

Whether it is through speeches and sermons, video blogs or TV, when people let you believe one thing and practice another, it is deception and hypocrisy.  The Pharisees were not all that different than many today whose private lives are filled with sexual and financial disgrace while their public lives are saying something completely different.  That is what Jesus saw in the religious leaders of his day and it is what He sees today.  Hypocrisy from an ancient group is not more evil than the hypocrisy of today.

Many such as Josh Duggar, Ted Haggard and Sam Rader freely admit the hypocrisy of their lives, but I wonder if any of them realize the gravity of their actions beyond the embarrassment of getting caught.  We live in a Christian culture that emphasizes and places highest value on God's love, forgiveness and understanding.  Even though these are good values to hold dearly, Christian culture is losing the sense of the holiness and the judgment of God.  Hebrews 10:31 tells Christians, "It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God."

Because the holiness of God is so underrated by our Evangelical community, when people fall, the fallen quickly take comfort in God's forgiveness and compassion, not realizing that they have fallen into the hands of the living God who is cleaning His house from the hypocrisy these people so freely confess.

FORGIVENESS



"Jesus died for this sin, but there are still earthly consequences."
R.C. Sproul Jr.

Most Christians who face a scandal turn quickly to God's forgiveness.  Whereas Sam Rader seems to use his feeling of forgiveness as a tool to say "it's none of your business" to the media,  Josh Duggar and others use it simply to find personal peace.  The world is against them, but at least God supports them and loves them and is so touched by their hurts and their failures.

I am not going to speak for God, but I wouldn't assume that He so quickly wraps them up in His protective arms.  Throughout the Bible, when God's people angered Him, it took time and some changes made for the relationship to return to some kind of normal.  It took time for God to get over His anger.

On the surface of things, people who get caught in scandals typically think only of themselves and neglect the feelings and struggles of the rest of their family.  For me, I thought that R.C. Sproul Jr. who also had an Ashley Madison account, was an exception to this rule when he stated, "My sin, sadly, has impacted those who are innocent—my colleagues, friends, and family. I have and will continue to seek their forgiveness. I covet your prayers.”

Most of those caught seem to be protective and dismissive toward media intruders - they seem very inward and focus only on God and finding forgiveness without consequence from Him.  R.C. seems to realize that the outing of his sin has consequences and has affected others.  He acknowledges not only his sin, but its consequences and acknowledges that his scandal affects others.  Nevertheless, he later admitted that he wished he had withheld comment on the matter.

THE INNOCENT

In some movie I saw years ago the main character said something like, "When I confessed to my wife that I had an affair with another woman, a large burden was lifted from my shoulders.  But my confession placed a huge burden on my wife's shoulders who did not know I was having an affair."  

Most of the people caught in scandals haven't unloaded their burdens on others, but others are still given new burdens that are difficult to bear.

When Ted Haggard's follies were exposed, he became the center of his family more than when he was a pastor.  The same is true for Sam Rader, Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Baker, Josh Duggar, Bill Gothard and the myriads of other fallen Christians.  The wives and the children disappear in the ongoing family story, as the family story becomes the story of dad's tragedy, confessions, and aftermaths.

The type of burden taken on by the innocent when scandal is exposed is worse in a public arena because under so much publicity, the fallen usually focuses on their own survival and their own reputation.  The innocent people surrounding the fallen quickly become victims of neglect, confusion, and hurt.  

The burden on others is not something that those caught intend to do; it is just what happens to the people who love or who are connected to the fallen person.