Pornography - Kicking the Habit

20th Century porn magazines led the way to this century's internet porn which has taken the world by storm.

WHAT'S SO BAD ABOUT PORN?

1. Pornography takes up too much valuable time. When someone spends hours a day on internet porn, it is time taken from other things that can and should be done.
2. Over the long run, pornography does not satisfy; it loses it's excitement, and the desire for more or something different to keep the excitement can lead to some bad places. Here are just a few examples of what I have seen:
a. An ex co-worker of mine spends all of his savings and even goes into debt to support his need for strippers and erotic messages. He hates what he does, but he will not stop.
b. Another co-worker lost his job and his reputation because of child pornography.
c. Jimmy Swaggart (the tele-evangelist) was once the most watched evangelist in the world, but because his pornography habit eventually became a habit of visiting prostitutes and he was caught. His ministry and his reputation has suffered a huge loss.

THE 3 SENTANCE HISTORY OF PORNOGRAPHY

1. Some nude statues of the Roman Empire era had ancient sperm on them.
2. From the very beginning of photography, there have been pictures of nude women.
3. From the beginning of film, there has been pornography.
4. The internet has brought porn into every home.

SOME OBSERVATIONS

1. Most people like to keep it secret.
2. Usually the people who preach against it the most have problems with pornography. This is true about a lot of things.
  a. Ted Haggard railed against homosexuality, during which time he visited homosexual prostitutes.
  b. Jimmy Swaggart wrote a book about the evils of pornography right before he was busted for porn.

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT PORN?

The only porn anybody saw in the Bible times were the forms of statues, clay statuettes, or drawings.
1. The Bible does forbid the making of statuettes designed for idolatry, but didn't see statuettes leading to pornography.
2. The Bible does speak against uncontrolled desire.
3. The Bible does speak against fornication (sex outside of marriage). The Greek word is "porneia" from which we get the word "pornography"...but this is not the same as pornography as we know it.
4. The Bible says that sin separates us from God. When Isaiah stated that it had to do with economic injustice, but the concept is the same for other sins as well. Sin eats away at what is spiritually good in our lives.

PORNOGRAPHY IS A STRUGGLE

Many Christians struggle with pornography. One Fox news article (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,586303,00.html) says that the amount of women who admit using pornography to get off is around 76% - those are just the ones who admit it. New York Daily News placed the number for women at 30% and for men at 70% (http://articles.nydailynews.com/2010-02-11/entertainment/27056038_1_study-big-issue-problem).

WAYS CHRISTIANS DEAL WITH PORN?

1. Deliverance - The concept behind this is that Satan has kept you bound for so many years, and by getting rid of his hold over your life you will be freed from porn.
a. Plus - it provides a temporary fix.
b. Minus - Porn is an issue with your flesh. In time you will probably go back into it if you do not take other precautions.
2. Prayer and fasting - Absolutely pray and fast! But prayer and fasting alone will not usually suffice. Jimmy Swaggart grew tired of fasting for his addiction.
3. Just say no! - This is great, but for most people it is not enough.

WHAT SHOULD A CHRISTIAN DO ABOUT PORN

Besides praying and perhaps fasting, the best way to deal with porn is to block access to it using 2 steps.

First of all, get somebody you can trust. If your best friend likes to reveal other people's secrets, avoid him or her. You want someone who can keep secrets. If you've ever heard your friend say, "Don't tell this to anybody else..." or "I shouldn't say this, but..." or anything like that - do not confide in him/her. Find someone you respect who is good at keeping secrets. Pray about it.

Tell that person that you would like him/her to be your accountability partner and then sign up with covenanteyes.com. On covenanteyes.com you will be asked to put your friend's email address, and he/she will receive weekly updates, revealing everywhere you've been on line. It also categorizes into different ratings.

This is the best way to hold yourself accountable and to avoid digging into pornography.

If there is a sexual addiction group at your church, you may want to check into it and join.

WARNINGS

Do not confide in your issue with a member of the opposite sex.

If you are attracted to people of the same sex, do not choose someone you are attracted to. Furthermore, be on guard, because opening up to someone even spiritually, and praying with them, may increase desire.

Unless you are in a group designed to meet the needs of sexual addiction, don't open up your issues to a group of people. Some people are too open with their issues and for some reason feel that it is important to tell the whole church or bible study of men and women about their sexual issues. Don't fall into this. A trusted accountability partner will be good enough.

If your church has a group dedicated to overcoming pornography, by all means join it.

WHAT TO TELL THE ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER

1.  Be honest.  Tell him/her (for simplicity I will use "him" from now on) that you have an addiction.
2.  You can tell him that you are embarrassed about telling him.
3.  Tell him that you would like him to receive covenanteyes report.
4.  Tell him that you need him to call you once a week.

WHAT TO EXPECT FROM YOUR ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER WHEN YOU TELL HIM

1.  "I don't have that problem."  This may be true, but don't let this trouble you.  Your partner has other issues.  Count on it, after all he is also human.  Also, don't let this deter you - you may be embarrassed and humiliated, but it is how you will become a better Christian.
2.  "You should tell your wife."  I am not convinced of this.  For some people, this is the right thing to do, for others, it may ruin their marriage. 
FOR THE ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER

1. Meet regularly with the person who is struggling, even if it's only by phone. You will need to meet more at first...at least once a week.
2. Don't act shocked or disappointed.
3. Don't ever tell anyone else, unless the person coming to you is abusing children, raping women or harming others. In this case, you are bound by law and decency to bring it to proper authorities.
4. Don't be afraid to ask him/her point blank how its going, challenging him/her to be honest. Call your friend every week or every other week.
5. If you are struggling as well, then you may want to confide this to your friend and work together with covenanteyes.com.

WILL THE FEELINGS EVER GO AWAY?

Feelings of desire will never go away entirely, but can be brought down to a manageable level. We are sexual beings. We will have desires. They can be controlled. You may struggle from time to time, but you can overcome.

The Bible does not reward those who never sin, because there are no such people. It does reward those who overcome (Revelation 2 & 3). In other words, life is filled with battles in temptation that need to be fought and overcome.

ITS NOT ALL OR NOTHING

Be careful about falling into the lie that its all or nothing. In other words, just because you failed does not mean you should give up and give in. Its a battle...you may lose some, but get back up and keep fighting. Take territory, bit by bit if necessary, but take territory.

...for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again...(Proverbs 24:16).

SOME OTHER IDEAS

-If you are steeped in porn, set apart a few days or a week for fasting from porn.  Add this to a food fast, or fasting meals, or whatnot.  This is to pray for important things in your life.  You may also do this in seeking for God's help in overcoming porn.

-The sooner you deal with porn, the better.  The problem won't go away with time, but gets worse.

-Even as you get older and your sexual drive begins to wane, porn will not become less of a temptation, because you will need more stimulation to get excited.  So don't count on age being your way out.