There are times in everybody's lives that tragedy hits. Sooner or later everybody has to deal with some unwelcomed visitor such as death, divorce, betrayal, disappointed dreams, failure, loss of job, or whatever.
Some tragedies are easily mended and some last for years.
In some we find comfort from those around us, who help us and encourage us, but in some we walk alone.
In some, the peace of God is ever present, lifting us up and helping us through our difficulties. In others, however, God seems to abandon us completely.
REACTIONS - WHEN GOD SEEMINGLY ABANDONS US
A. Assassinating God
A professor once told me that Atheists are really not as athiestic as they claim, but rather, Athiests are angry at God. So down deep, they believe in God, but out of anger, deny His existence, thereby getting even with God for whatever He did to them.
Personally, I don't think Atheist is a closet believer, but I definately believe that there are a lot of Atheists out there who do fit this scenario.
Denial of God can be a form of assassination. The theory follows this emotional pattern:
1. God wants to be known and believed in - I assume this because in my very core, as a member of the human race, I want to be known and recognized. If I want to be known and recognized, I assume that God does as well. I believe this is at the core of every human who has any sense of a higher power.
2. Things went bad for me.
3. God could have helped because He is powerful enough.
4. God did not help.
5. I am angry at God.
6. I will take away what He wants (to be acknowledged).
7. God does not exist.
B. Assassinating Devotion to God
This same pattern, mentioned above, gets more complex when people hold on to the idea that God exists.
I was close to a missionary couple who spent several years in Central African Republic helping other missionaries, from other denominations and other countries, who were fleeing war torn countries. My friends had to take care of the other missionaries, sacrificing their family's solitude, food, space, and sanity. The host couple faced an unbearably stressful situation without any gratitude or offers of help from the visiting missionaries. At least this is the story I got.
The stress got the better of the host wife (Lisa) who turned away from her faith, her church, her husband and left the mission field. Anger got the better of her and dictated actions - actions she would never have thought possible before.
Here is what I believe Lisa went through, although this is based on my own struggles during hard times:
1. God wants me to live above my passions and baser nature. He wants me to be holy and dedicated to Him, denying my feelings for fornication, hate, and so on.
2. Things went bad for me.
3. God could have helped.
4. God did not help.
5. I am angry at God.
6. I will take away what God wants.
7. Screw holiness.
C. Other Forms of Assassination
Some people get really angry with God because He disappoints them for some reason or another, and so they decide that God is not so powerful after all, or maybe he is not so loving after all; but they will still believe in Him and maybe even follow Him.
D..Covering Up Anger
A lot of Believers cannot face the reality that they are angry with God. Here's some scenerios:
1. God disappointed me.
2. God would never disappoint me.
3. I love God.
This may go another way:
1. God disappointed me.
2. God would not like me to be angry at Him.
3. Therefore, I am not angry at God.
Or this:
1. God would never disappoint me, because He is God.
2. God loves me and would never do anything wrong.
3. My feelings make no sense to me.
However, underneath the facades of Christian piety that covers what is really going on, there are emotions that are following this scenerio:
1. God disappointed me.
2. I am angry at God.
3. If God changes and behaves Himself as I think He should behave, my anger will go away.
4. If God does not change things, my anger will either smoulder or get worse.
Our emotions don't always line up with our reason. In fact, they often are in conflict, and because they conflict, we tend to choose the more noble of the two, denying that part that is so contrary to what we believe. So I may be down right angry with God, but cannot admit it because my values and beliefs are so strongly against being angry at God.
SOLUTIONS
1. Face the fact that you are angry with God. Or,
2. Face the fact that that you are assassinating your faith or the attributes of God.
3. Admit that God disappointed you.
4. Tell God He disappointed you - this will be uncomfortable at first, if you are use to hiding your anger from God, which of course makes no sense because He knows our hearts, and knows the anger that's there already.
5. Tell God you need to forgive Him - granted, we know that by definition, God does everything for our good, but try telling that to your emotions. Let your emotions speak on this one. For your emotions to be crucified, they need to be brought into the light. Forgiving God is more for us than it is for God.
6. Work on the process of forgiveness, which may take some time.
I find a lot of people have a hard time admitting that they need to forgive God. But I will tell you, most of us have to sooner or later. It doesn't mean that God really did anything wrong, it just means that our emotions believe that God disappoints us.
If you are in a relationship with God, that means that sometimes you will be disappointed with Him. In any relationship there are arguments and disappointments. And in any relationship, there needs to be forgiveness.
Forgiveness does not always mean the other partner did something wrong. It just means that we are going to let go of our anger and our emotion that is angry at God, and to do so, we need to forgive God, weather we believe He wronged us or believe that He does no wrong.
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